Old Hag
I can recall four nights in the past six months that I found myself staying awake through night till morning. One of these nights was incredibly well spent - reliving the glory (and err, i’ll say it, disappointment) of mall madness with Molly and watching her sob hysterically (round two) through the Sex in the City movie. All the while realizing through my more or less blank reaction that I am, in fact, empty inside.
HOWEVER, the other three nights, tonight included, have all been spent in the exact same manner — reading bios/gossip and youtubing clips of the jonas brothers, demi lovato, taylor swift and pretty much any other tween sensation that comes to mind. At first I deemed this behavior/interest as pretty standard, but with further thought, I realized that I am nearly twenty three years old and that just makes me - well - a fucking creep.
But THEN, upon FURTHER thought, (I can think, like, REALLY FAR!) - I concluded that while this obsession certainly dances on a fine line between justifiably intrigued and weirdly pathetic - it probably IS normal (APPLAUD HERE AT MY CURVE BALL, EDGE OF YOUR SEAT DEVELOPMENT THAT YOU DIDN’T EVEN SEE COMING BUT NOW FIND TO BE A HIGHLY RELATABLE AND COMFORTING COMING OF AGE TALE OF MATURATION).
Uh, anyways…I am going to chalk it up to being completely dumbfounded and, dare I admit it, a bit jealous, of these high school aged icons living the life I so painstakingly wished for in my developing phases. Back then I had not even considered the perks of a limitless wardrobe and weekend getaways to Hawaii. (PS. why do they all goto Hawaii? LAME.) All I longed for was a guitar and a stage ..john mayer to stumble upon my demo and decide to casually come by one of my gigs (we still called them gigs then, sometimes, i think) and decide halfway through one song that he couldn’t live another day knowing that my head…could hit my bed….without his hand behind it. oh how i miss the days when compact discs existed and dry humping your pillow while John mayer ran through the halls of his high school meant you had an awesome weekend.
I bet Nick Jonas and Selena Gomez ACTUALLY dry hump. Like, each other.
Oh to be young in the two thousands…
womp. womp.
